My sister is being a huuuuuuuuuuuge dick about my tattoo!
“If you’re real quiet, your whole body will be quiet, and there’ll be echo, and resonance. It’s like your head, or your chest, is a guitar box.”
(for the Swan Children)
In my dream
After the United States soldiers broke into the Russian army robot and destroyed it, so that it fell, a hundred feet high, creating a tsunami of snow along the banks of the statehouse river where we sat
You stood across the river, having already crossed it frozen, and directed us to swim to you, to safety
It was very cold, having been frozen, and it was very fast, and inconsistent: the middle flowed, the edges firm
You screamed encouragement and lead us to the shallows, where others played in a cold fountain, laughing with joy as they splashed one another with the ice melt
And as the apocalypse ensued, you created a safe house in the suburbs, with corners to hide from intruders, and projects to raise morale, and clean sheets, and swept rubble.
(i wrote a thing today)
This cold gives me rosy cheeks & I’m listening to the Halloween episode of #MarryMe
Last night I dreamed you were impressed with me when I told you my Theatre News / I woke up wondering what you do now, who you spend time with / I wonder if you ever think of me / I wonder if you see me in dreams too, where we catch up, free of our past
that one friend who always pesters you to hang out, but when you do their eyes glaze over or they start looking around the room whenever you try to tell them anything about your life
I’ve dealt with today’s angst by being as obnoxious as possible and biting off all my nails.
Sick of my hair, sick of myself, sick of being too chicken to take my new prescription, sick of my tattoo looking shitty while it heals, sick of working somewhere where people yammer on about their diets and are way too fucking loud, sick of not believing in myself or anyone else.
Today I want to shave my head. Gonna listen to Liz Phair instead.
Food still seems a bit Much but I’m keeping it down! And burping instead of vomiting!